How Many Hearts Have to Break?
by ChibiMiMi-chan
Summary: Life has turned upsidedown for Amu ever since her father died. Will Ikuto help her through it? *Charas don't exist*
1. Chapter 1

_"Amu. Amu. _Amu!"

Amu Hinamori was pulled back into reality when her friend Rima Mashiro began calling her name and snapping her fingers in her dazed friends face.

"I'm sorry Rima," Amu apologized. "I'm not all here. What is it?"

"I was just wondering if you're coming to my party this Friday?" she asked again.

"Oh. Yeah, I'm planning on it," she said. "Unless something comes up like a funeral or something, I'll be there."

"Good. What about the rest of you?" She looked around at the rest of the table. They were having lunch with the rest of their friends, Tadase Hotori, Yaya Yuki, the twins Nadeshiko and Nagihiko Fujasaki, Kairi Sanjo and Kukai Souma. The rest of them nodded in agreement.

"Now, I also invited some of my popular friends," she explained. "So no offense, but try not to embarrass anyone."

Amu rolled her eyes. She, Rima, and Nadeshiko were best friends, but the group easily got annoyed by Rima. She was fun to be around, but she was popular and she sometimes let it go to her head. Amu wondered why Rima even hung out with them, but she never said anything.

"Who else did you invite?" Kairi asked.

"Well, Utau Hoshina, Saaya-" but Amu cut her off with a scoff. "Amu, I'm sorry. I know you two don't like each other, but we're friends and I wanted to invite her. I also invited her friends."

"Well then this party should just be lots of fun," Amu said sarcastically.

"Of cheer up Amu. You don't even have to see her," Rima reminded. "Please come Amu and enjoy yourself." Rima started hugging Amu's arm and didn't let go until Amu promised that she would go. "Yay."

"Hey, did anyone watch Idol last night?" Nadeshiko asked.

"Ugh, yeah, my sister was watching it. She's convinced that she's going to become some famous singer one day," Amu explained. "I'm not a fan, but I do like that one German guy. He's pretty good. I voted for him a few times, but I only watch it when Ami does."

"Really?" Tadase asked. "I don't like him. He's pretty bad."

"You watch Idol?" Kukai asked. "Wow, Amu, are you sure you picked the right guy?"

"Of course I'm sure." She grabbed his hand and kissed him.

"Get a room you two," Rima said. "On second thought, no, I don't want to have to hear that."

"I'm with Rima on this one," Kairi said. "Please keep it G rated."

"That'll be a bit difficult, but we'll try," Amu said with a small laugh.

"Well, lunch is about over, so I'm going to go empty my tray," Yaya said.

"I'll go with you," Amu offered and picked up her tray.

"Amu, you didn't hardly eat anything," Tadase pointed out and gestured to her almost full tray of food.

"Well, I'm not very hungry," she explained. "Plus my stomach's upset. I'll eat more when I feel a little better."

"Okay. I'll be right back." She turned and walked to the trash cans. "I'll be right back," she said when she returned. "I'll see you guys later."

Amu walked into the bathroom and locked herself into a stall. She thanked God that there was no one else in the bathroom, because she almost instantly threw up. When she was done, she popped in some minty gum and flushed the toilet.

"Amu, are you in here?" She heard Nadeshiko's voice ring through the small room.

"Hey," Amu said once she got out. She washed her hands and started drying them on her pants after noticing that the bathroom was still out of paper towels.

"Amu-chan, are you okay?" Nadeshiko asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I've been worried about you," Nadeshiko said. "You haven't been eating well, and you're just not yourself lately. Is there something you want to talk about?"

"No, I'll be fine Nadeshiko-chan," she assured her.

"You know that you can tell me anything, right? I'll keep it a secret if you need me to."

"Of course," Amu said. "I'd trust me with my life." She made a backwards "c" with her right hand and Nadeshiko made a "c" with her left hand and put it together with Amu's, completing the heart. "Lylas," she said and the two hugged and exited the bathroom.

"Crap," Nadeshiko said once she saw that the cafeteria was emptying. "Once this clears, can you come back to the table with me to get my purse?"

"Of course," Amu said and grabbed Nadeshiko by the wrist. As soon as she saw an opening, she ran and pulled her purple haired friend along behind her. They got through the rest of the crowd and got the purse quickly, even though Amu had gotten knocked over.

"Thanks for coming back with me," Nadeshiko said. "But are you okay? You hit the ground pretty hard."

"I'm okay," Amu assured. "I don't break that easy."

"Good. Now let's go before we're late for class," she suggested.

"Good idea," Amu agreed and they both dashed to their Algebra class. Upon arriving, though, they realized that they'd forgotten their books.

"Don't worry, I'll go get them," Amu offered. "You go inside. I'll take the blame this time for being late. It's my turn."

"Thanks Amu," Nadeshiko said briefly before going inside and sitting in her desk in the back.

"I'm telling you, that girl's going to get me expelled one of these days," Amu said once she was on her way to Nadehiko's locker. She entered the combination and retrieved both of their textbooks. She grabbed Nadeshiko's with a neat green cover, and hers, with no cover and papers jammed throughout. She also got her friends folder and kicked the door shut and turned on her heel. She ran back to the classroom and walked inside and as soon as she did, every head turned in her direction.

"Hinamori-san, why are you so late?" asked the teacher.

"Um, forgot my book," she mumbled and walked to her seat in the back with her head down.

"Thanks," Nadeshiko whispered when she was handed her textbook.

"No problem," Amu said.

"Well it will be a problem if you end up getting written up and sent to the office if you're late too many more times," she hissed.

"It's better than both of us getting in trouble," Amu said. "It's a good thing that they were in your locker and not mine."

"How can you find anything in there?" Nadeshiko asked and watched Amu flip through her book.

"It's actually rather easy," she answered. She smiled when she pulled out the homework assignment. "Crap, can I copy the last three?"

"Sure. I owe you," Nadeshiko answered and pushed her completed sheet towards her friend. Amu quickly finished her own when the teacher walked by and collected it.

The lesson drug on for another half hour. They eventually packed up their things and picked up their homework on the way to the next class. The two girls parted ways when they reached Nadeshiko's locker. Just as she rounded the corner to the alcove where her locker was, Amu ran straight into someone and knocked both of their books on the ground.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," she apologized and bent down to pick up the books. "Are you okay?" She looked up to see a pair of dazzling purple eyes. "You're Ikuto Tsukyomi, right?"

"Yeah. Um, here's your book."

"Thanks." She averted her eyes and handed him his things. "I'm sorry. Here's your stuff," she said and walked around him to her locker, keeping her head down the whole time.

She put the algebra book in her locker and pulled out her Chemistry book and Japanese book. She walked up to the third floor and slid into her seat just before the bell rang.

"Alright, clear your desks," the teacher commanded. "I'm passing out the test and answer sheets. Do not write on the test. If you do throw it away. Put your name on the answer sheet and begin when I give you the test."

Amu looked around the room and caught Tadase's eye. They smiled at each other and mouthed "good luck."

A hundred thoughts whirled through her head once she got her test. She didn't remember what an alloy was or how to figure out what bonded with what on the periodic table. She didn't remember what percent of the earth's atmosphere was nitrogen or what happened when sugar mixed with sulfuric acid. She guessed on a lot of the questions, but was thankful when she figured out the essay questions. She turned in the test at the end of the period and hoped for the best.

Afterwards, Tadase walked her to Japanese and he went down to the first floor for gym. Japanese was her best subject, so it went by quickly and easily. She completed the assignments and then did her homework in class. When she was done, she began to work on some homework for other classes.

The bell rang and she walked out of class with Kairi. Things had been a little strained between the two of them recently after he admitted his feelings for her, but they were still close friends. They left the school together and walked along the streets until they had to part ways to go to their respective destinations.

Amu walked into her house as quietly as possible, praying the door wouldn't creak and that she'd be able to make it to her room without anyone realizing that she'd come home. She managed to slip through the door and up to her room before she heard sounds downstairs. A few minutes later, a small knock was heard outside her door.

"It's Ami," the girl on the other side whispered.

Amu jumped to her feet and tip toed over to the door. She peered through the crack in her door and saw that her little sister was standing alone. When she saw this, she quietly opened the door and welcomed her little sister into her bedroom.

"Hi Ami. What's up?" Amu asked.

"They're fighting again," Ami said.

"I know it's hard, but you'll be okay," Amu assured and sat down on her bed, gesturing for her sister to follow.

"Yeah, but I don't like it. Mom and dad never fought," she grumbled.

"Well, dad's not around anymore," Amu pointed out gently, "And for some reason, he makes mom happy. Couldn't you be glad for mom?"

"I know," Ami said. "It's just that I don't like seeing mom with anyone else besides dad, and this new guy isn't always nice to her."

"I know Ami. The truth is; he's not a very good man. But even though they fight, he's good to momma. Nothing we say could make her get rid of him," the elder sister explained.

"Amu, why do you always sneak around?" the girl asked.

"Well, just like you, I don't like the fighting," Amu explained. "So I just stay up here, and I figure that if they don't think about me being up here, then I won't get involved."

"You'll always be there for me, right Amu-chan?" Ami asked with wide, watery eyes.

"Of course I will," she answered and wrapped her little sister in a big hug. "I love you, and I'll do whatever I can to keep you safe."

"I love you too Amu."

A single tear escaped from Amu's eye, and she was glad that it went unnoticed by her little sister. Only Amu knew what really went on in the house, and she had to be strong for her family.

"Anyway, don't you have some homework to do?" Amu asked. "Didn't you say you had a test coming up? You don't want to be like me and have to guess on the answers, do you?"

"Yeah I do have some homework left," Ami said and hopped off of the bed. Just as she opened the bedroom door to leave, however, she turned back to her sister. "And you're wrong Onee-chan. I want to be just like you." With that, she smiled and walked to her bedroom.

Amu sighed and collapsed onto her bed and clutched a pillow to her chest. "Trust me Ami, no you don't. You don't want to be anything like me."  
>***<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Amu woke the next morning in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. She'd had the nightmare again, and she couldn't get that horrifying scene out of her head. She was at least thankful that she'd been able to sleep through the night, something that she hadn't done in a while. She attempted in vain to push the images of the dream out of her head. The only result was the memory becoming more vivid, and she curled up on her bed and cried, something she did a lot.


	3. Chapter 3

"Amu-chan, are you okay?" Midori asked at breakfast the next morning.

"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine mom, I just had a bit of a rough night," Amu explained.

"What kind of rough night?" her step father asked.

"Um, just a lot of tossing and turning. I wasn't able to get to sleep and once I did, I was just having some bad dreams." She kept her head down and played with her scrambled eggs with her fork, occasionally taking a bite.

"What kind of dreams?" he asked.

"Well, I was trapped in this haunted house," she said, thinking quickly. "I was running, trying to find a way out. But this monster was chasing me. I could see the door up ahead, but just as I reached out to grab the handle, the monster got me and it was just about to kill me, but then I woke up."

"Well, as long as it was just a dream, right Amu-chan?" Ami asked.

"Right. It was just a dream, and I'm fine now."

"You're going to Mashiro-san's party tonight, right Amu?" her mother asked, as though trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it," Amu said and took a drink of orange juice. "I've never actually been invited to a real party, just birthdays, so I'm actually excited."

"What are you going to wear sis?"

"I'm not sure yet. Probably just some dark wash skinny jeans and a tank top," she said.

"Well, you'll look beautiful," her mother assured.

"Hey Ami, we'd better get dressed," Amu cut in. "We don't want to be late for school."

"Aren't you going to eat your bacon?" Ami asked. "It's your favorite."

"Of course I am," she responded. "I'm just going to grab it and go." She picked up the three strips of bacon and ushered her little sister up the stairs.

Once she got up to her bedroom, she got dressed in her Seiyo High uniform and picked up her back pack and slung it over her shoulder. She met her little sister downstairs and walked with her to the building that housed the Elementary and Middle school. After she saw that Ami was safely inside, she turned around and walked back to the High School.

She met up with Yaya outside and they walked to homeroom together. They had the same teacher as they did in Elementary, which freaked Amu out. He was nice, but not a very good teacher and a little weird. Also, it took him close to a year to learn her name.

Nikaido-sensei took attendance, and then Amu moved around the room, and talked to her friends. She sat on Tadase's desk and chatted with him and the rest of her friends. Kairi and Kukai were fighting again, but Amu just had to laugh. Rima was throwing herself at Nagihiko who took no notice, and Nadeshiko sat and watched the scene before with a small smile.

After homeroom, Amu and Nagihiko walked to English together. They sat in the back and passed notes the entire time. Just as the bell was about to ring, the teacher came to the back of the class and the two didn't notice. Just as Amu handed him the note, the teacher snatched it up.

"Just what is this?" she asked.

"Um, nothing Ootori-sensei," Amu said and tried to grab the paper back. However, the teacher held it out of her reach and started treading it. "You both have lunch detention today."

"But Sensei," Nagihiko began, but she gave him a glare that made him shut up and sink back into his seat.

After class the two met up with Rima at her locker to tell her the bad news.

"So yeah, I might not be able to go to the party if my mom and step dad get mad," Amu said.

"Same here. Mom and dad are strict and always emphasize the importance of doing well in school," Nagihiko said.

"Well it's clearly your fault because you two need to learn how not to get caught," Rima said and closed her locker door. "Well, I really hope you guys can come tonight. It won't be the same without you. Hopefully see you then." The small blonde waved to her friends and walked off to her cooking class.

"Oh well, I'll see you in detention," Amu said and walked to her locker. She got her books for history and left for typing. After what seemed like a lifetime, she gathered her things and went to history. When she was done there, she and Nadeshiko walked to gym together.

"By Amu, see you later," Nadeshiko said once they put their clothes back in their lockers. Nadeshiko then walked to lunch, whereas Amu met up with Nagihiko at his locker and went to the detention room.

Amu looked around the room. Other than the two of them, there were no surprises; just the usual trouble makers. Just as the bell was about to ring however, Amu's jaw hit the floor. In walked Tsukyomi Ikuto. Although he got many surprised glares, he simply walked to his seat without acknowledging anyone. He sat down calmly at a desk and got some school books out and started working.

The two of them sat in silence and did their assigned work. After wards they went to the rest of their classes, all the while praying that their parents would allow them to go to the party.


	4. Chapter 4

"But please mom!" Amu begged when she got home.

"I don't think that's a good idea," her mom said. "You got detention, and I don't think I should reward you with letting you spend time at a party."

"Please mom, I don't see what the big problem is. I was passing notes with Nagi-kun. We were paying attention and I knew what was going on," Amu said.

"But it is a problem, Amu. You were doing something that you weren't supposed to and you got caught," her mother said.

"But I already served my punishment," Amu said, getting desperate. "And if you really insist on punishing me, can't I do it in some other way?"

"And what would you suggest as an alternative punishment?" she asked.

"I don't know, grounding me, taking my laptop, something like that," Amu suggested. "Please mom, I'll do anything else. I just want to go to the party."

Midori sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Fine Amu. You can go to the party, but you're going to get a hard punishment."

"Yay! Thank you momma!" she said and wrapped her mother in a hug. Suddenly her cell phone rang. "Hey Yaya. What's up?" After a few minutes of breathless ranting, Amu finally rolled her eyes. "Okay Yaya, don't worry about it. I'll be right over. I can't believe you forgot though until the last minute."

"What was that?" Midori asked when Amu hung up and was half way up the steps.

"Apparently Yaya was being stupid again and ruined the project that she, Tadase-kun and I worked on. It's due on Monday, and it turns out that she did it about a week ago and didn't bother telling us until now. I have to go help her fix it or redo it if necessary."

"You'd better not be lying to me," Midori yelled up the steps once Amu finished the explanation and was in her room.

It was running short on time, so Amu decided that she'd just get dressed in what she was going to wear to the party before she left for Yaya's house, then she'd be ready and wouldn't have to be late. Also, Tadase was there so they could just go together.

Rushing out of the house with her purse and the materials that she was going to need for the project, she rushed over to her friend's house as fast as she could.

"Amu-chi! Thank God you made it," Yaya said and opened the door the rest of the way to let her gasping friend into her house. A half built model was laying on the coffee table, with Tadase on the couch, holding two pieces of glued wood together.

"Hey babe," Tadase said without looking at her.

"Hi Tadase-kun," she said with a small blush. "So Yaya, I don't get how you were able to destroy an entire model of a labeled helium isotope beyond repair."

"Well, funny story," Yaya chuckled while looking at the floor. Amu sat down next to Tadase on the couch and started rewriting labels.

"Doubt it," she heard Tadase mumble under his breath.

"So yeah, I was finishing gluing some things on and painting it last week and I left it outside to dry. I went inside for a few minutes for lunch. Then I had to change my little brother and it started raining while I was inside. He started crying so I had to walk him around the house and it completely slipped my mind until I went back outside the next day to leave for school and it was laying in the yard soaked and in pieces. I'm really sorry guys."

"It's okay Yaya-chan," Amu said when she looked up to see tears threatening to fall. "I would've appreciated it if you would have told us earlier, though, after all of the hard work the three of us put in."

After two hours of work, the model was almost done except for some paint drying.

"Good job you two. And thanks so much for coming over," Yaya said. "It's almost time for the party, so I'm going to go get dressed and I'll be right back." With that, Yaya turned on her heel and bounded upstairs to her bedroom.

"Hey Tadase-kun, are you okay?" Amu asked once they were alone.

"Yeah, why?" He smiled at her sweetly and took her hand.

"I don't know. You just seemed a little mad earlier," she explained.

"Oh, that was nothing," he assured her. "I'm just a little mad at Yaya-chan." He leaned in and kissed her. "About how long do you think she'll be?"

"I don't know," she said and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Probably a while. We're going to be late, I know that much."

She laid back on the couch and used the arm rest as a pillow. Tadase came down with her and continued kissing her.

Suddenly, Amu's mind went blank. Her vision went white and she felt like she was going to scream.

"Tadase-kun, stop it," she said and sat up.

"What's wrong Amu-chan?" he asked and grabbed her hand, kissing the back.

"I- just please stop. I can't do this." She hung her head with her eyes sealed shut, hands on the sides of her head.

He looked worried now. "Amu, are you okay? What's going on?" He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder but she gasped and quickly jerked her away.

"I can't tell you, okay!" she yelled. "Just please get away from me." She turned and ran up to Yaya's room, leaving Tadase crestfallen.

"Amu-chi!" Yaya instantly pulled a shirt in front of her bare chest when Amu came bursting through her door.

"I'm- I'm going to have to stay in her for a bit, okay?" Amu said and sat down in an open corner, hanging her head and bringing her knees to her chest.

Yaya discretely slipped a bra on and knelt beside her friend. "What's going on Onee-chan? Is Tadase-kun still down there?"

"Don't bother me," Amu said and pushed Yaya away. "Just, finish getting ready. I just have to be up here right now."

Yaya stared confusedly, but continued getting dressed. The two girls walked down to see Tadase still sitting on the couch. Amu texted her mother to say that she wouldn't be coming home until later. After exchanging a few odd looks, the three of them drove silently to Rima's house.

**A/N: Hey guys! Alright, as you know the holidays are coming up. I won't be online during break for those of you who care. I unfortunately won't be updating on time but I'll make sure to get everything in on Wednesday the 4th. Please R&R, comments make my day. Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy New Year, Prospero Año, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and for those of you who don't celebrate anything, then enjoy your time off work and school and have fun with your family! :) **


	5. Chapter 5

By the time that they arrived at the party, music was already blasting. Cars were parked everywhere imaginable. Yaya texted Rima that they'd shown up and Rima said that she'd meet them at the door.

"Amu, so glad you made it," Rima yelled over the loud music and hugged her best friend. The other two looked at her. "I'm glad all of you came, but I knew you would. Amu got detention and she said her mom might not let her come."

"Why didn't you tell me you got in trouble?' Tadase asked once they got away from some of the louder music.

"I didn't want you to worry," she said, looking everywhere but at her boyfriend.

"So now you're taking my feelings into consideration?" he asked accusingly.

"Tadase-kun, I'm really sorry for what happe-"

"What did happen Amu-chan?" he asked, cutting her off.

"I'm sorry. I can't tell you," she said.

"Why can't you tell me?" She dared a look at him and saw fire in his ruby eyes.

"I just can't. I want to, but I can't." Tears began to fall.

"Amu-chan, are you cheating on me?"

Amu felt like she couldn't breathe. "Tadase-kun! Of course I'm not cheating on you! I would never do that to you."

"Then tell me honestly." He grabbed her hand and his voice became stern. "What's wrong? I'm your boyfriend Amu. Whatever it is, I'll help you through it."

"I'm sorry Tadase-kun. I really want to tell you, but I can't." Her voice wavered. "I really need you to be with me through what's going on."

"I think I'm going to get a ride home with Nagihiko tonight Amu-chan. I guess I'll see you later," he said. He let go of her hand and walked out into the kitchen.

In that moment, Amu's life came crashing down around her. She couldn't see or hear anything, just a sensation of falling. She ran as fast as she could up the stairs, into the back of the house. She tripped over a couple on the steps, but she didn't care. She just needed to get away. She needed to be alone, in a time in her life where all she needed was someone to be there for her.

She spotted the door that she was looking for. She burst through the door and ran inside.

"Ow. I'm so sorry," she said to the person that she'd just knocked to the floor. She picked herself up and rubbed her head.

"It's okay. Are you alright?" She froze.

She looked up to see Tsukyomi Ikuto. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was in here. Is this your hiding place?"

"No. You can stay," he said and sat down on the bed. "You know, we really need to stop meeting like this. Do you enjoy knocking strangers over?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," she apologized.

"It's okay," he assured. Suddenly he got an odd look on his face. "Have you been crying?"

"What?" She rubbed her tearstained cheek, and then rubbed some tears from her eyes. "It's nothing. Just, stupid stuff."

"What happened?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

_Why does he care? _Amu thought. "Yeah. Just a fight with my boyfriend. Well, I think he's my ex-boyfriend now," she added.

"May I ask what happened?" he asked.

She sat down on the bed next to Ikuto. "Well, you can ask, but I'm not going to tell you," she said.

"Feisty, aren't we?" He placed his hands behind his head and laid back on the bed. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Amu Hinamori," she said. "I find it a compliment that you don't know me. It means that I'm unpopular and nobody cares. That's what I was hoping for."

"Well if you're really as unpopular as you say that you are, then how'd you get invited to this party?" he asked skeptically.

"Well, I don't know why or how it happened, but I'm best friends with Rima Mashiro," she explained.

"Who?" he asked.

"Wow. Rima," Amu repeated. "She's the hostess. Honestly, how'd you even get invited to this party?"

"Well, I wasn't exactly invited," he admitted. "My sister Utau Hoshina was invited, and I didn't have anything better to do so I tagged along with her."

"Uh-huh. So in other words, you crashed the party?" she asked.

"Not exactly. Apparently, guests were welcome," he said. Then he patted the bed next to him. "Here Amu. Make yourself comfortable. Don't be a stranger in your friend's house." She looked at him questioningly. "Don't worry. I don't bite."

She shrugged. "Why not?" She laid back on the bed and grabbed a pillow to hug.

He smiled. "Good girl."

"Ikuto-kun, why did you get detention?" she asked before she could stop herself. "I mean, it's just that you don't really get in trouble much. Or, at least that's what your reputation says."

"Got caught cutting school," he explained. "Now, why'd you get detention?"

"I got caught passing notes in class," she said.

"Now that's hard core bad right there," he said jokingly. "I don't think I should be talking to you. You might turn out to be a bad influence on me."

Amu smiled. "You never know. I might be." She sighed. "I hope Tadase-kun doesn't stay mad at me."

"If he loves you he'll come back. I know it," he said.

"How do you know?" she asked.

"Tadase Hotori?" She nodded. "Yeah. I heard of him. Typical teenage guy. If he knows he can get in your pants then he'll come back."

"Tadase isn't like that," she said. "He knows I need to take things slow."

"How long've you guys been together?" he asked.

"Well, we've known each other for about a year, but we just started dating about a month and a half ago." He looked at her and smiled. "We haven't really even had any hard core make outs."

"Wow. This guy must really want to nail you," he said.

"I told you, he's not like that," she insisted. She sat up and started playing with a thread on the pillowcase.

"I'm kidding Amu. Not all guys are like that." He grabbed her hand and pulled her back down beside him. "Hey, do we have any classes together?"

"Gym."

"Wow. You seem to know a lot about me," he said. "Do you stalk me or something?"

"No. It's just that you're popular, and people know you. I've noticed that we have gym class together."

He made a muscle. "Sure. I think it's just that you watch me in the weight room."

"I do not!" She blushed and rolled over.

"You're blushing," he said and poked her cheek. "Pervert. Do you like watching me work out and getting all hot and sweaty?"

"Shut up. I'm not the pervert. Besides, I have a boyfriend." She fell silent and wiped her eyes before tears were able to form again.

"It'll be okay Amu," he said and rolled over next to her, putting a comforting arm over her.

"I hope so." Amu sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well, I guess I can only apologize and hope for the best." She pulled her phone out. "What time is it?"

But before she could check the time, Ikuto snatched the phone.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Give me my phone back."

"Nothing. Just putting my number in" he said as he typed on the phone. "You can text me if you want." He handed her the phone. "Ten twenty-six."  
>"What?" she asked in bewilderment.<p>

"You wanted to know what time it is. It's ten twenty-six. Probably twenty-seven now." He placed his hands behind his head and laid down again.

"Crap. I should get going soon." Amu stood up and stretched.

"Aww." Ikuto yawned and stretched out on the bed. "But you're the most interesting thing about the party."

"Well, I have an eleven o'clock curfew," she started out the door. "And besides, I'm going to need to find my ride."

"Fine," he pouted. "I'll see you Monday Amu."

"Bye Ikuto." She waved and went downstairs looking for Yaya.

"Amu!" Amu turned around to see Yaya and Nadeshiko coming towards her. "Hey," Nadeshiko said, "I'm ready to leave. This party's getting bad. Somebody brought drugs, and I don't think Rima knows yet. Besides, I saw somebody trying to put something in Yaya's drink."

"Alright. Let's go," Amu said.

"Wait Amu-chi," Yaya said and grabbed her hand. "Isn't Tadase-kun coming?"

"Um, Tadase decided to go home with Nagi," she explained. She shot Nadeshiko a glance and she understood immediately.

"You know what? I'm just going to go home with the boys then. Save you the trip," Nadeshiko decided. She went over and hugged Amu good-bye.

"Thank you," Amu whispered.

"You'll be okay. Tell me later," she whispered back. "Well then see you guys Monday."

"Yaya, I wish you had your license," Amu said when they were in the car. "Then I wouldn't have to walk home. Can you call my house and tell them that I might be a little past curfew coming home?"

Once Amu dropped Yaya off at her house and walked home, Amu went straight up to her room. The second she got on her bed, she began to cry.

"Oh God what's wrong with me?" she wailed. "Why did I freak out with Tadase?" She wiped her nose but it continued to run. "It was just my boyfriend. It wasn't him. I'm safe with Tadase. And now he thinks I'm cheating on him. I'd never do that! And now what's this with Ikuto? I barely know him, and I was all ready to pour my heart and soul out to him. Then we were all cuddled together on the bed? I might as well be cheating on Tadase!"

After a few minutes, she wiped her eyes and went into her bathroom. First she measured her waist, and then stepped on the scale.

"Crap. Under quota again," she said regretfully. "I hate it. Just hate it."

Then she knelt in front of the toilet, slid her finger into her throat, and threw up.

**A/N: Dun-dun-dun-duuuuuuuuun. ****Yes, for those of you who haven't guessed it yet, Amu has an eating disorder. She doesn't eat much, and what she does she just throws it back up. Poor girl. Comment on what you think. Thanks! R&R! **


	6. Chapter 6

Amu woke up the next morning in her bed. She was still dressed in the clothes she'd worn to the party; she figured that she'd passed out.

Not bothering to change, she went downstairs into the kitchen. When she got down there, she saw her step father sitting at the table reading the paper and drinking coffee.

"Um, hi Tsubasa," she said uneasily as she pulled a bottle of orange juice from the fridge.

"Good morning Amu," he said, keeping his eyes on her.

"So, um, where's mom and Ami?' she asked, pouring the juice.

"They went out," he said simply.

"So, um, we're alone?" she asked.

"Yep." He took another sip of coffee. "So that's what you wore out yesterday right?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Why're you still wearing that?" he asked. He put the paper down and stood up.

"I guess I was more tired than I thought," she said and began inching backwards.

"Were you drinking?" he asked and walked towards her.

"No. actually, some kids showed up with some stuff so I decided to leave." Her eyes darted towards the door. "Look, I promised Kukai that I'd meet him at the soccer fields, so I really gotta go."

"In yesterday's outfit?" he asked. He had Amu up against a wall now.

"You're right." She laughed nervously. "So I'm just going to go upstairs and change, then I'm going to leave. Okay"

"Oh, you're not going anywhere," he said. He began to run his hand up and down her thigh, producing a small whimper out of Amu. "You know, this skirt's pretty short. It could attract unwanted attention."

"Please. Not today," she begged.

He took a step closer and slammed her back into the wall. "Oh Amu-chan. You should know by now. How else am I going to entertain myself?"

Amu cried for the next half an hour as he tore her open, but there was nobody around to save her. Finally, he finished and she was able to stumble up the steps. She locked herself in her bedroom and then in her bathroom. She ripped her clothes off and huddled up in the bathtub, letting the water stream down on her.

"Why mommy why?" Why can't you see what a bad man he is?"

_Amu got out of bed one night soon after Tsubasa moved in. She walked past Ami's room to see that the door was open a crack. This was unusual for her little sister, so she went to investigate. She opened the door the rest of the way and saw Tsubasa standing over Ami. He was unzipping his pants as he was pulling back the girls blanket. _

_ "Tsubasa. What's going on?" she asked, still half asleep. _

_ Amu finally realized what was going on. "What? No. No. No you get the hell away from her!" _

_ He rushed over to her and clapped a hand over her mouth. "Now Amu. You're going to be a good little girl and go back to your room and forget this ever happened. And you're never going to tell anybody about this. Got it?" _

_ "Bu- But she's only eight years old." _

_ He took her by the wrist and squeezed until it went numb. "You're leaving and not telling anyone. Understand?" _

_ Amu hung her head. A tear came to her eyes as she realized what she had to do to save her baby sister. _

_ "If you take me," she began, "will you leave her alone?" _

_ "You know what? I think that's a fair deal," he said and pushed her to the ground. _

_ Ami never found out what happened in her room that night. _

**A/N: Woah. So, Ami was eight years old during the flashback. I aged the main characters so that they're all 17, but I'm not sure how old Ami is. I decided not to age Ami right, so she's from age eight to age twelve. Leave a comment saying her age please and how I did. Thanks! R&R! **


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh Ami," Amu said when she finally went downstairs once she heard her mother and sister return. "Ami, I love you."

"I love you too Amu," her little sister said after Ami escaped the iron grip. "What do you want?"

"Mom, I'm going out," Amu announced. "I want to take Ami too," she said, staring right at Tsubasa.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Midori said. "Ami failed a test, so I need her to study. Besides, you can go out and have fun without your little sister."

She dared one more glance at Tsubasa and sighed. "Fine mom, but I really just need to leave."

"Hey, I didn't finish punishing you yet," Midori yelled after Amu, but she was too far gone.

She needed to get as far away as possible. She didn't know when, but she ended up at the park, sitting on the bench crying. Suddenly, she felt an arm drape over her shoulder.

"Ikuto. Hi," she said once she looked up to see a familiar face.

"Hi Amu. Now why are you crying this time?" he asked.

"Oh, it's just family stuff." Then she got a foul look on her face and wanted to punch herself in the face. "No. It's not family problems. He'll never be a part of my family."

"Who?"

"My step-father. He-" she paused. "He's just been making me mad. He's not a good guy to be around, but mom's just too lonely since dad died to realize that he's no good."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"But why am I telling you? I barely know you, and you really don't care about other people's home lives."

"No. You can tell me. I can keep a secret. Besides, I'm a great listener." Ikuto looked up. "Hey, isn't that Tadase?"

Amu looked up to see Tadase walking around.

"I have to go talk to him," she said. He smiled and she stood up and called his name. He turned around and she started walking towards him. "Hi Tadase-kun."

"Hi Amu-chan," he said. He peered around Amu to see Ikuto staring at the two of them. "Um, Amu-chan, who is that over there looking at us?"

Amu turned around and looked at Ikuto. "Oh, that's just Ikuto," she said. "We actually met at the party last night.

"And you two are hanging out again today?" he asked.

"No actually," she corrected. "I came to the park and he just happened to see me here and we started talking. But anyway Tadase, I wanted to talk to you about last night. I'm really sorry Tadase. I freaked out and I had no reason to. Will you please forgive me?"  
>"Yeah Amu. I forgive you." He took her by the hand and kissed her. "And I'm really sorry I accused you of cheating on me. I know you would never do that."<p>

"And I forgive you," she said and kissed him, fighting back all the fear that she felt.

"Well, I have to go Amu. I'll see you later," he said and hugged her, kissing her one last time.

"Okay. Bye Tadase." She watched him leave and was about to turn around when she felt someone hug her from behind.

"So that went well," Ikuto said and put his chin on top of her head.

"Yeah. We got back together," she said adoringly.

"I've noticed. So does this mean that you're going to stop crying now?' he asked.

"Yes." She paused, and then corrected herself. "Well, I hope so. I'll at least stop crying over him."

"Well that's good," he said. They walked back to the bench and she sat down. He laid down and placed his head in her lap.

"Can I help you?" she asked and tried to lift his head.

"Not really," he said and snuggled in closer to Amu. When he did, she almost yelled in pain.

"Okay, you need to move," she said and stood up, letting his head fall to the bench. "I have to go. Bye Ikuto." Then she turned and hung her head before speedily walking home.

**A/N: Okay, this chapter is dedicated to AppleMuffin. I uploaded a chapter for my Harry Potter fic in here by mistake and if they hadn't have pointed it out to me I probably wouldn't have noticed. So thank you. But anyway, aww, Tadase and Amu got back together. Isn't that sweet and adorable? Now they can live happily ever after. Lol naww, this is an Amuto story silly. And I can't have my main characters be happy for too long or else the story would be happy. XD Anyway, sorry for the day late update. R&R! **


	8. Chapter 8

"Amu, you're back," her mother said when she walked through the door. "The way you were talking, I thought you would've been out for a while."

Tsubasa waved her over. "Come join us on the couch," he said and patted the only available cushion next to him. "We're watching your favorite show."

"No, that's fine, I already saw this episode," she lied.

"Sit down Amu," he commanded.

"Okay," she said weakly. Shooting a glance at her mother, who was curled up under his arm, she timidly sat down next to him.

_He wouldn't try anything with mom here, _she told herself, though she wasn't convinced. So she sat on the couch for the next forty five minutes with him sneakily touching her leg, and "accidentally" brushing her breast when he was "stretching." Soon, everyone got up and Amu dashed for her room.

She weighed herself again. Though she still wasn't satisfied with the number on the scale, she decided she wouldn't make herself sick. She stayed in her room for most of the weekend until school started again on Monday.

"You did a good job with the presentation today Amu," Tadase said after Science.

"Really?" she asked. "I was so nervous. I felt like I was going to be sick."

"Well you did great." He hugged her around the waist and pulled her closer into a kiss. "I love you Amu."

She turned red. "I l-love you too Tadase." They kissed again and parted ways. "By the way, do you want to come over later? Around five-ish?"

"Okay. See you there."

After school, Amu was walking home. Just as she rounded the corner, she heard a voice from behind her.

"Stalk, stalk, stalk, stalk, stalk."

She wheeled around to see Ikuto walking sneakily behind her. When she turned around however, he straightened up and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, hey Amu," he said nonchalantly. "I didn't see you there."

"Sure." She rolled her eyes and sighed. "What do you want?"

"Fine, if that's your attitude," he said and turned around. Then he turned back to face her and said, "Okay, I'll stay since you're begging me."

Amu rolled her eyes again. "There's something wrong with you." They walked to her house in silence. Amu looked in the driveway to see that there was a car missing. "He's not here. Thank God."

"Who? Your stepfather?" he asked.

"Yeah." She opened the door and as soon as she did, Ikuto squeezed in past her. Sarcastically, she said, "Oh by all means, come on in. Make yourself comfortable."

"Thanks, I will," he said and sat down on the couch.

She sighed and walked up to her room with Ikuto following close behind. She laid down on her bed with her homework and he laid next to her.

"You're doing it wrong," he said.

"What?"

"The math problem. You're doing it wrong." He pointed to the problem. "First you have to carry the two. Then you multiply these two."

Amu did as instructed and figured it out. "Yay!" she said and hugged him. "How'd you know that?"

"Despite appearances, I'm actually pretty smart," he explained.

"Wait, where's your homework?" she asked.

"Don't have any. I cut school again today," he said with a shrug.

"And you can still figure this stuff out when you hardly ever go to school?"

"That's pretty much it," he said and pointed to the next problem. "Now, can you figure this one out?" She tried it and got it after making only one mistake. "Now Amu, you're seventeen right?"

"Yeah. And?"

"Amu, look at this problem," he instructed. "What's five plus six?'

She looked hard and blushed. "Shut up," she said and erased the twelve and wrote in the eleven.

"Good girl," he said and patted her head. "Next."

She did the rest of the work correctly and rolled over onto her back.

"So anyway, I'll ask again. Is there any particular reason that you're here?" she asked.

"Not really," he said truthfully. "I didn't have anything better to do." He rolled over on his back and put his hands behind his head under the pillow. "Do you mind if I ask why you don't like your stepfather?"

"Because he-" but she stopped. _What's wrong with me? _She thought to herself. _Why on Earth should I even begin to trust him with something like that? I can't tell anyone, not even my mom. Especially not my mom. _"I don't like to talk about it. But I miss my dad."

"Did your parents get a divorce?" he asked.

"No. He had a stroke," she said. She sat up and wiped her eyes. Ikuto sat up and hugged her.

"Shhh, don't worry Amu," he said, stroking her hair. "It's going to be okay. He's in a better place now."

"I know, but I just miss him so much. He was always so protective of me, and then he just left me alone."

"Amu, you're not alone. You have your mom, you have your boyfriend, you have your friends," he said. "We're all there for you." He rocked her back and forth until she stopped crying. "There. Amu, you told me that you'd stop crying."

"Thanks for putting up with me Ikuto," she said, sitting back and wiping her eyes. "I really appreciate it."

He put his fingers under her chin and angled her head up. "Hey, don't worry about it," he said. "If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, just come to me."

"Okay Ikuto," she said and hugged him. "Hey, what time is it?"

"Um, almost five," he said after looking at his phone.

"Oh gosh, Tadase's coming over in a few minutes," she said. She rushed to the mirror in the bathroom. "Oh, I'm going to have to redo my makeup and get dressed." She walked back to Ikuto and pointed to her face. "See what you did? You made me cry and now my makeup is all smudged and gross." She quickly washed off her face and went back to her room and started going through her closet.

"Well anyway, if your boyfriend's coming, then I should get going," Ikuto said.

"Okay, see you tomorrow." Then she corrected herself as she was putting in a pair of earrings. "Or rather, see you whenever you decide to show up to school next. And thanks for everything."

"Bye Amu." He opened her door to leave, but Amu stopped him.

"Wait, Ikuto, you forgot your jacket," she said. She crawled on her bed and grabbed it for him.

"I knew it."

"What?" Amu turned around to see Tadase standing in her doorway. "Oh, hey Tadase. You're a bit early. I'm not even ready yet." She gave the jacket to Ikuto and walked over to Tadase.

"What's he doing here?" he asked.

"Leaving," she said truthfully.

"Why is he here Amu?" Tadase asked again.

"Really no reason. He followed me home. We talked for a bit, he helped me with my homework, that's all," she explained.

"Then why don't I believe you?" he asked.

"I don't know Tadase, but I'm telling the truth," she said, starting to get annoyed. He looked over at the ruffled bed, an act that did not go unnoticed by Amu or Ikuto. "Oh come on Tadase, we went over this."

"You are cheating on me, aren't you?" he asked.

"No, Tadase, I'm not. I told you, and you said you believed me." Tears threatened to fall again.

"Oh, you got her crying again," Ikuto said. He protectively stepped between Amu and Tadase. "Look, she's not cheating on you. Nothing happened man. She's telling the truth. I followed her home because I was bored. We came up here, hung out for a while, and then she mentioned that you were coming over. Then I offered to leave so you two would have some privacy. That's all."

"We're done Amu," the blond boy said. "I care about you so I gave you another chance. Clearly I was wrong."

"No," Ikuto said. "If you really cared about her, then you wouldn't go accusing her of these things."

"Stop it, both of you!" Amu yelled. "Tadase, I'm sorry. Nothing's going on; I really need you to believe me. Ikuto, I'm sorry you got dragged into this."

"No Amu, don't apologize to him," Ikuto said. "He's the one who should be apologizing to you."

"I love you Amu," Tadase said. "I thought you felt the same."

"Hey now, that's crossing the line," Ikuto said and took a step towards Tadase. "She doesn't deserve to get her heart broken by you a second time."

"I don't deserve to be treated by this," Tadase said angrily.

That's what pushed Ikuto over the edge. "What did you just say!" he bellowed. "You're the one who doesn't deserve her. You should be on your hands and knees begging for her forgiveness."

"Guys!" Amu yelled. She stepped up to Tadase and her voice softened. "Tadase, you've got to believe me. Look, you trust me to have Kukai, Nagi, and Kairi alone in my room with me. I don't see why this should be any different.

"That's because it _is _different Amu," Tadase said.

"But why? I trust you with Rima, Nadeshiko and Yaya," Amu said. "I trust you around other girls, and you have all of those pretty, popular girls throwing themselves at you. So why can't you trust me?"

"I just can't Amu," he said flatly. "Good bye." Then he turned around and left. Amu dropped to her knees and hung her head.

"Amu." Ikuto knelt down beside her. "I'm really sorry."

"Just go. I- just go." She shook her head and turned away from him, walking to her bed and curled up, facing the wall.

"I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow." He picked up his jacket and left.

"Why does the world hate me?" she asked aloud.


	9. Chapter 9

"Mom, I'm not feeling well," she said to her mother the next day.

"What's wrong sweetie?" her mother asked and sat down on her bed. She felt Amu's forehead with the back of her head. "You don't feel like you have a fever."

"It's my stomach," she lied.

"Do you feel like you're going to be sick?" Midori asked. Amu nodded. "By the way, what was all that yelling about yesterday? And why did those two boys leave your room?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Amu said.

"Sweetheart, did something happen?" she asked.

"Tadase broke up with me okay!" She sighed and sat up in bed. "I was hanging out with Ikuto yesterday before my date with Tadase. Then I told Ikuto to leave because Tadase was coming over. Then Ikuto was leaving when Tadase showed up, Tadase accused me of cheating, there was a big fight, Tadase dumped me and then they both left."

"Well, what was going on when Tadase got there?" she asked. Amu looked at her in shock, and then Midori clarified, "Maybe Tadase got the wrong idea. What was going on?"

"Nothing," she answered. "Ikuto was standing by the door, and I was by my bed picking up Ikuto's jacket that he'd taken off."

"You have those other three boys in your room," her mother said.

"I know. Kukai, Kairi, and Nagihiko. I told him that, and he said it was okay to be alone with them, but that Ikuto was different. Why are boys so stupid momma?"

"I don't know Amu," she said and kissed Amu's forehead, "But you can't wallow in self-pity forever. But I am going to let you stay home today however."

"Thanks mom. I'll go tomorrow," she promised, "And I'll make sure I make the work up."

"Of course," her mother said and kissed her forehead. "No go back to sleep."

The room was flooded with darkness once Midori turned off her light and shut the door. At first Amu lie awake staring at the ceiling, but after much tossing and turning, she finally fell into a deep sleep. She woke up a few hours later after dreaming about Tadase, Ikuto, and the night she was first raped.


	10. Chapter 10

Amu woke up the next morning and drug herself out of bed. She walked downstairs and had a small breakfast before walking Ami to school. Once she got to homeroom, she sat down in her seat and put her head on the desk.

"Amu, where were you yesterday?" Nadeshiko asked after walking over and sitting beside her friend.

"Stayed home," she said.

"What happened with you and Tadase?" she asked gently.

"I don't want to talk about it here," she said.

Rima walked over and knelt beside her. "Amu honey what's wrong? Nadeshiko said something happened."

Nadeshiko walked over to the teacher's desk. "Nakaido-sensei, Amu still isn't feeling well," she said. "Can Rima and I take her down to the nurse?"

"Of course." He started going through his desk. "Here, just let me write you a hall pass."

She took it and the three girls walked out into the hall and into the bathroom.

"Okay, now will you tell us what happened?" Rima asked.

Amu gulped. "Tadase dumped me," she said softly.

"What!" Nadeshiko asked in bewilderment. "Why?"

"He thinks I was cheating on him. He thinks I slept with someone," she explained, while trying to hold back tears.

"That's crazy," Rima said, and both girls gave her a protective hug.

Amu was openly crying now. "You guys know Tsukyomi Ikuto, right? Well, I met him at the party and we started hanging out, then he came to my house the other day and we were up in my room hanging out, doing homework and stuff. Then Tadase showed up for our date while Ikuto was still there, and when he was on his way out, Tadase got mad and accused me of cheating on him. Then the two of them got in a fight and left."

Nadeshiko stroked Amu's hair. "It's going to be okay Amu."

"If he's going to be a jerk like that, then he clearly doesn't deserve you," Rima said.

"Yeah, you'll be better off without him," Nadeshiko said.

They stood together for a while until Amu stopped crying. They got back to homeroom before the bell. Kukai started talking to her and the rest gathered around her desk, but she and Tadase didn't even look at each other.

She went through her day as usual, getting caught up on the work that she'd missed. Eventually she and Nadeshiko went down to gym class. Having been given the option of playing dodge ball or the weight room, the two girls opted for the weight room.

The two girls ran side-by-side on treadmills.

"See, this'll be good for you," Nadeshiko said.

"Hopefully," Amu sighed.

"Uh-oh," Nadeshiko said suddenly. "Here comes trouble."

Amu looked up to see Ikuto walking over.

"Hi Amu," he said. She didn't respond. "Where were you yesterday?"

"Stayed home," she answered simply.

"Look Amu, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any problems between you and Tadase. I can understand if you're mad."

She started straight ahead, not once looking at him. "I'm not mad," she said, her voice emotionless. "Of course you didn't mean it."

"Amu, I really am sorry," he said, but Amu cut him off.

She stepped onto the side of the treadmill and looked at him. "Yes Ikuto, I know you're sorry. But I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"Seriously Amu, what can I do to make it up to you?"

"Well, you can start by going back in time and never have talked to me in the first place, then Tadase would still be with me!" she yelled, causing everyone to stare at them.

"You're right Amu," he said quietly, averting his eyes. "I'll leave you alone." Then he turned and walked out of the weight room.

Nadeshiko looked at her friend worriedly. "Amu."

"I have to go," she said. She turned the treadmill off and ran to the locker room. She curled up on the floor of the showers and cried. She crawled over to the toilets and made herself throw up twice. When the rest of the class walked in, Amu quickly got dressed and walked out. Nadeshiko crept up behind her and grabbed her by the wrist, and pulled her into another bathroom.

"Look Amu, I know you're upset, but don't be mad at Ikuto," Nadeshiko said.

"I know I shouldn't be mad at him, but I'm just confused."

"I know honey, come here," Nadeshiko cooed and hugged Amu. "I know it's only been a few days, but trust me, it will get better. You just have to give it some time. Try not to think about it as much and some of the pain will go away."

Amu gave a small laugh. "You're making it sound like I broke my leg."

"See, now there's your smile," Nadeshiko pointed out. "That's what you need."

"You're the best Nadeshiko," Amu said, pulling away. "You always know what to say."

The purple haired girl put her arm around Amu's shoulder. "There we go. Now come on, we need to get to lunch." She led Amu out of the bathroom and the two of them went to the cafeteria. They sat with the rest of their friends, but Amu and Tadase still didn't speak.

"By the way," Yaya said soon after everyone had their food, "Rima, when did you find out that people brought drugs to the party?"

"Well, I walked into my bedroom to get a new skirt because somebody," she said, eying Nagi evilly, "Spilled some punch on it. People were sitting in a circle passing around a joint. Of course my first thought was what would happen if my parents went in my room and found anything. Obviously they'd blame me. Anyway, it was almost midnight and I kicked all of them out. I sent everyone home soon after and then I searched the whole house. Thankfully I didn't find anything else, but I had to vacuum and spray and do a lot of other stuff to get the smell of marijuana out of my room."

"Sounds fun," Kukai joked. "Why didn't they invite me?"

"Because I would have killed you myself if I had caught you with anything. You guys know why I don't like drugs. Speaking of which," she digressed, turning to Yaya. "I heard someone tried to drug you. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thankfully Nadeshiko caught it before I did, or else I wouldn't have noticed." She turned to her left and hugged Nadeshiko. "Thank you so much."

"What, you didn't expect me to just let you get rophied, did you?" she asked, hugging back.

"See, that's why we have friends," Kairi said. "We look out for each other."

"Yep, what would we do without each other?" Kukai asked, and put his arms around Tadase's and Rima's shoulders.

"I have to go," Amu said, then gathered her things, dumped her tray and left.

The rest of the day went a little better, though she felt that biology couldn't have gone slower. She droned through the rest of her classes, and came home to an empty house aside from Tsubasa. After he had his way with her, she went upstairs and cried herself to sleep.

The next day, she tried to go to the weight room in gym class, but it was closed so she had to play kick ball. When the gym teacher's divided up the teams, Amu and Nadeshiko were on opposite teams, but she and Ikuto were together.

She sat on the bottom of the bleachers, and Ikuto sat down beside her.

"Why do the gym teachers hate me?" Amu asked aloud.

"Amu, please stop ignoring me," he said.

She got an annoyed look on her face. "Oh, hello Ikuto, I didn't see you there."

"Amu, will you please talk to me?"

"No," she said flatly.

"Well, you just did," he pointed out.

"That doesn't count," she insisted.

"I said I'm sorry."

"Oh I know. And I believe you," she admitted. "But I'm still mad at both of you."

"If you won't talk to me here, would you be willing to talk to me in private?" he asked.

She turned to him. "What are you talking about? This is gym class."

"Are the teachers watching?" he asked, maintaining eye contact.

She looked around. "No, why?"

He stood up and grabbed her by the wrist, dashing through the door and into the hallway on the way to the locker rooms.

"Are you crazy," she yelled. "If they catch us, we're both dead!"

He clamped a hand over her mouth. "Well, if you don't yell, then they won't catch us."

"Fine. What do you want?" she asked after he removed his hand.

"I want you to forgive me," he said.

"Why do you care what I think of you? We barely know each other," she pointed out.

"Yes, I know that," Ikuto stated. "Just please tell me. I've seen you and him around. Why do you seem so much madder at me than you are at Tadase?"

Amu was at a loss for words. When she thought about it, she was more angry at Ikuto than at Tadase, but she didn't know why. Ikuto hadn't done anything wrong. Tadase was at fault. He was the one who had accused her of cheating and broke up with her.

"I am not," she defended. "I'm just as mad at him."

"Well you sure don't act like it," he accused. "Why are you making me out to be the bad guy here Amu?" he asked, beginning to raise his voice.

"Because if you hadn't followed me home, then he wouldn't have thought you and I were together," she said, starting to yell too.

"But I defended you. And you were fighting at the party too, right? I wasn't involved, so that just proves that this is his fault. And I'm also willing to bet you were fighting because he thought you were cheating then."

"It's none of your business why we were fighting!"

"Well, was it!"

"Yes okay! Are you happy now?" she yelled. "He got mad at me because I freaked out when we were kissing and he thought I was seeing someone else."

"See! So this isn't my fault. So why are you mad at me and not at him?"

"I am mad at Tadase!"

"Then why are you so much angrier at me!"

"Maybe because I would've cheated on him with you!" she screamed.

She gasped when she said this. Amu didn't realize herself that this is what she felt, but after she said it she knew it was true. She felt different when she was around Ikuto. She felt safer. She felt like she could trust him with anything. They looked at each other in shock. Amu hung her head and turned to go back to the gym, but Ikuto grabbed her hand. Before she knew what was going on, he spun her around and kissed her. She immediately gave in and put her arms around his neck, while he wrapped his arms around her waist. She smiled, realizing that this finally felt right.

**A/N: Awww! See Amu, now doesn't this seem a whole lot better? Now, why did it take you ten chapters to figure that out? Oh wait, it's because I drug out the story line. ^_^ R&R! **


	11. Chapter 11

"Nadeshiko, we have a problem," Amu said over the phone that afternoon.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Well," she sighed, "I kissed Ikuto."

Nadeshiko screamed. "What were you thinking!"

"Well, I don't know," Amu said honestly. "We were fighting, then I kind of told him that I thought I might like him, then he kissed me."

Nadeshiko took a few breaths. "So, what do you think you're going to do?"

"I don't know," she repeated. "I do think I like him, and I'm not with Tadase anymore-"

"So now after all that crying, you're over Tadase in three days?" she asked skeptically.

"No, I'm not completely over Tadase. I just think I want to see how things go with Ikuto. Besides, I want to try to stay friends with Tadase. We have almost all of the same friends, so it's pretty important that we don't stay mad at each other."

"Well, do what you want," Nadeshiko said, "But as your best friend, I'm going to tell you that I don't think this is a good idea."

"I know it's a bad idea, but I just want to see where this goes. Well, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Amu."

"Oh, and one more thing," Amu said before Nadeshiko hung up.

"What?"

"I have a date with Ikuto tonight," Amu said quickly and hung up before Nadeshiko could start yelling again.

Amu then rolled out of bed and started looking through her closet, trying to find something to wear. She ended up pairing a black and red striped sweater with dark wash ripped skinny jeans. She curled her hair and put it up in her usual clips. She put on a little lip gloss and snuck out the door before anyone could notice.

She wandered around town for about a half an hour before she was supposed to meet Ikuto. She started to get hungry, so she stopped in the taiyaki shop. She browsed the shop and saw that they had some low fat ones. She picked it out and paid the clerk. She started eating it, but it didn't taste very good. When she was almost done, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind.

She jumped. "Ikuto!" she gasped.

He smirked. "What's wrong, did I scare you?"

"Yes, you did," she said. "Now can you get off of me?"

"Nuh-uh," he said in a childish voice.

"Why not?"

"Because you're too pretty," he said in the same voice. "What you got there?" he asked, eyeing her snack.

"Taiyaki," she said simply.

He grabbed it, took a bite, and got a strange look on her face.

"Gross," he said, letting go of Amu and spitting it out in the grass. "That stuff tastes nasty."

"I know," she said. "It's low fat."

"Why are you eating that low fat stuff?" he asked, scanning her with his eyes. "You trying to lose weight or something?"

"Well, a little," she admitted.

"Well stop," he ordered. "You're beautiful the way you are. You don't look like you could even afford to lose anything." He pulled her into a hug and tilted her head up for a kiss. "You're already perfect Amu," he said when they pulled away for air. "Don't you ever change."

She just blushed and looked away. "So anyway, what do you want to do?"

"I was thinking we could see a movie," he suggested. "What about that new horror one?"

Amu went white. She hated horror movies. She scared so easily, and couldn't sleep after she saw scary movies.

"Um, sure. Whatever you want," she stubbornly said.

"Okay, cool," he responded. He took her hand and they walked to the theater. He paid for the tickets and they went inside. They sat in their own row on the side and continued to hold hands.

"Try not to get too scared," he whispered just before the commercials started.

"I'll try not to," she responded shakily, although she knew that she would.

"Well, I'll be right here," he whispered and then kissed her.

The movie started and Amu sunk down a little lower in her seat. Throughout the movie, her grip would periodically tighten around Ikuto's hand.

"You okay babe?" he asked halfway through when Amu nearly yelled. "We can leave if you want. It's okay."

She shook her head. "It's okay, I'll be fine," she lied.

When the movie was over they walked out of the theater together. When they were outside Ikuto saw that Amu was as white as a ghost.

"Amu, did you get scared?" he asked. "I knew that was a bad idea. I told you we should've left."

"Well you were enjoying the movie and I didn't want you to have to leave just because I was a little scared."

He pulled her into a hug. "A little scared?" he repeated. "Amu you're shaking. I enjoyed it but it wasn't worth it if you were going to get this scared."

"It's fine Ikuto," she insisted. "Even though I got scared, I actually did like it. Besides, I just need something to get the movie out of my mind."

The moment that she was finished speaking, Ikuto kissed her with so much passion that it nearly made her knees buckle. She wrapped her hands around his neck and began to kiss him back.

"Well, the movie is out of my mind," she grinned when he pulled away.

"Good. Now, it's your turn to pick what we do," he said.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," she explained hesitantly. "I'm very bad at choosing activities."

"Well, you've got to be better than me," he said with a grin.

"Well then let's go to… the arcade," she suggested.

"Excellent," he announced. "However, I must warn you that I am the reigning champion at air hockey."

She eyed him evilly. "That's funny, because I'm the champion."

"Well then, I guess that we're just going to have to battle this out," he said.

"Boy, you are so on," she challenged. They made their way to the arcade on the other side of the mall and went straight for the air hockey table. Luckily for them the arcade was nearly deserted. Ikuto put the quarters in and grabbed a paddle.

"So how many games are we going to play?" she asked and batted the puck to his side.

He defended his goal and shot for hers. "What do you think? Best two out of three?"

"That sounds good to me," she decided and shot the puck and scored. "Ha! What now?"

"Oh Amu, didn't anyone ever teach you about sportsmanship?" he teased and returned the puck.

"Yeah, but I ignored what they told me," she explained and shot. "By the way, did you ever notice that these paddle things really resemble sombreros?"

"Actually yes," he admitted and scored a goal against her. "I've always thought that. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so."

"Well, I always thought it was obvious," she commented.

They played for another half an hour. Amu ended up winning two of the three games.

"Ha! I told you I was the champion," she teased when they left.

"Congratulations Amu," he said and gave her a quick, chaste kiss. "Well it's getting late, we should probably get home."

She frowned and threw her head back. "I don't want to go back there."

"I don't want to go either but we've got to," he insisted. "Here, let me walk you home."

"Fine," she pouted and they began to walk.

"Well, did you enjoy yourself?" he asked when they arrived at her house.

"I did," she answered. "I would actually like to do that again sometime."

"Definitely," he said and gently kissed her.

She walked through the door to see Tsubasa and her mother sitting in the living room.

"Where have you been young lady?" her mother asked when she saw her oldest daughter.

"I was out," she replied simply and quickly before going upstairs.

When she got in her room she collapsed on her bed and sighed.

"Yes, I'm definitely going out with him again."


	12. Author's Note

**A/N: Alright guys, I know I'm not supposed to do this, but oh no, it's not an official chapter. I'm just here to say that **_**How Many hearts Have To Break **_**will be going on temporary hiatus. I originally hadn't planned on updating this story, so I didn't fully think this through before I posted it. I will continue with the story, but I just need to develop it more. I'm sorry if I disappoint my, what three readers? I will continue to be active on this site if you were reading any of my other in-progress fanfictions. Like I said, the story shall eventually continue, but I just need to do a lot of work and planning on it. **

**Also, I want to take this moment to thank the people who have read and/or reviewed this or any of my other stories. I've worked hard and I honestly didn't think I was all that good of a writer until I joined here. Now I realize that maybe I'm better than I thought. So thank you. And also, I almost never let anyone I know read any of my shiz, fanfic or original. Not even my family or best friends. So that I'm getting any support from strangers means a lot to me. Thank you. **

**P.S. If any of you want to read any of my original stuff, I have an account on .com ('s sister site) under the same name. **


	13. Chapter 12

"Amu, where on Earth did your appetite go?" Midori asked at dinner. "You've hardly eaten anything."

Amu cringed slightly before taking a bite of green beans. "I don't know mom," she lied. "For some reason I just haven't been as hungry lately."

"I think something might be wrong Amu," her mother said.

"No," Amu insisted. "I'm fine mom. I'm eating until I'm full, so I don't see a problem."

"Well, have you been stressed about anything lately?" she asked.

Amu looked up and saw that Midori looked generally scared for her, but Tsubasa was watching her menacingly.

"Not really. Tadase and I broke up a few days ago, but we're trying to work things out." She took a small bite of mashed potatoes. "You know what? The relationship was getting a little strained for a while. Maybe that really was stressing me out more than I thought and that made me less hungry," she said thoughtfully.

"Well, I really hope that you get better," Midori said. "I really am worried about you."

"I'll try to start eating more," Amu lied.

"Alright," Midori smiled." Amu then grabbed her stomach. "Amu honey, what's wrong?"

"I don't know," she said. "I think I'm going to be sick." She got up from the table and rushed upstairs and into her room. She locked the door behind her and collapsed on her bed crying.

"That was way too close," she muttered. "Mom, why did you have to notice?" She punched her pillow angrily. "Why do you have to make me feel so guilty?" She dried her eyes and walked into her bathroom. She got on the scale before wrapping a measuring tape around her waist and frowned. "I'm going to kill myself one of these days," she said before making herself throw up. "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" She threw up again, but it hurt because she hadn't eaten enough to get rid of.

Amu heard Midori knock on her door. "Amu, are you okay honey?" she asked. Amu got up from off of the floor and walked out of her bathroom and unlocked her door. "Amu, did you get sick?" she asked.

Amu nodded and then went back into the bathroom to flush the toilet and hid the tape measure and scale. "I don't know what happened," Amu said. "Maybe I picked up a bug or something." She shrugged. "Well, I'm feeling a little better now, but I want to lay down for a while."

Midori hugged Amu and kissed her forehead. "Okay honey. I hope you feel better."

"Me too," Amu grumbled before her mother left.

She collapsed onto her bed and curled up under her blankets. "Why do I do this to myself?" she asked before drifting off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 13

She heard her door open and slowly shut in the middle of the night. She rolled over to see her alarm clock. _3:27 a.m. _ She closed her eyes again before feeling someone sit down at the foot of her bed.

"It's three thirty in the morning," she grumbled, without opening her eyes.

"I know what time it is." Tsubasa's voice was icy.

"What's the matter?" she spat, her eyes still closed. "Mom wouldn't give you any so you went to the next best thing?"

"Shut up and strip Amu," he commanded.

She sat up and looked him in his eyes. She was terrified, but she was determined not to show it. "And if I refuse? I'm not afraid of you."

Before Amu had time to react, Tsubasa slammed her down on her bed. He brandished a knife and held it to her throat with one hand while unbuttoning his pants with the other.

"And I'm not afraid to make a mess," he said. When Amu still didn't move, he began to put pressure on the knife. Amu's eyes widened as she felt the blade pierce her skin and felt a thin line of blood trickle down her neck.

"Okay okay okay," she said quickly. "Just put the knife away and I'll do whatever you want."

He smiled menacingly and put the knife down on her nightstand. "That's a good girl," he cooed and brushed some pink hair out of her face. "This'll be over soon."

Amu tried not to cry as he penetrated her. She knew she had to be strong. Amu had to keep in mind that everything she's done, everything that he's done to her, she did to save her sister.


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: The next few chapters have been rated for language, not that y'all care. I hope this chapter is good. It kept me up a few nights because I was ahead of myself and I had this scene planned out in about chapter 10. R&R! Thanks! **

"Amu babe, are you okay?" Ikuto asked in school the next day. They were standing at her locker before homeroom and she was crouched down to get the necessary textbooks on the bottom shelf. She faced him to reveal dark circles under her eyes. She played with the cross that hung from the choker around her neck.

She forced a smile. "I'm fine. I just had a little trouble sleeping last night." _Well, it's not a total lie. _

"It looks like you haven't been sleeping well for a while," he observed. "And it looks like you've been losing some weight. You better not still be dieting. I told you the other day that you don't need to lose weight."

She stood on her toes and kissed him. "Babe, I'm fine. Now I should go. I don't want us both to be late for homeroom." She turned and walked to homeroom.

"Good morning everybody," she said to her friends when she entered. She sat down carefully and Yaya walked over to her and sat on her lap.

"Good morning Amu," she said cheerily. "How are you this morning?"

Amu yawned. "Very tired," she explained after. "What about you? You seem abnormally chipper."

"I didn't notice a difference," Nagihiko said. "She's always hyper."

"That's because you're a dude and don't notice anything," Rima said nonchalantly. "But anyway, why are you in such a good mood today Yaya?"

Yaya blushed. "Well, Kairi asked me out," she said excitedly.

Nadeshiko beamed. "Oh my God that's amazing!" she exclaimed. "I always knew you two would get together." She hugged Yaya and then eyed Rima. "Now, we just need to get Rima and Nagi together and then everyone will be set."

Rima and Nagihiko blushed. They had been sitting side by side, but Nagihiko stood up and walked over to sit on the other desk near Kukai.

Amu chuckled. "Where is Kairi anyway?" she asked, looking around and noting that he was not there.

"He told me he's going away to visit family for a few days," Tadase commented. "I figured you guys might be wondering."

The rest of the group grew silent, all eyes on the two of them. Amu decided to swallow her pride and be the better person.

"Thank you Tadase," she said.

Tadase's face turned sour and he looked away from her. "I'm still mad."

She continued to smile. "And I forgive you for your unnecessary anger and I believe it's time to stop being childish. I think it's important for things to go back to normal for the sake of the group."

"I still don't believe you," he spat.

Amu's jaw clenched, along with her fists, but she kept smiling. "But I was telling the truth, and I still am."

Tadase looked at her and his eyes were ablaze. "Well the evidence was pretty circumstantial."

She stormed over to hos and slapped him in the face. "You're so full of shit Tadase!" she yelled and stormed out of the classroom. Nadeshiko and Rima chased after her, but by then she was already out of the school.

Amu kept running, not knowing where she was going. When she finally stopped for breath, she was in the town park. She sat down on the bench and hung her head in her hands.

"Why doesn't he believe me?" she asked herself aloud. "You know what? Screw him. I don't care, I'm with Ikuto now." She sighed and curled up on the bench. "I still don't like being accused of stuff."

"Why aren't you in school young lady?"

Amu looked to see Ikuto's lavender eyes staring down at her. She sat up and he sat down beside her.

"I ran out," she explained. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Fine, I got mad and had to get away."

"I understand. Exes suck," he said and put an arm around her shoulders.

"No, it's not like that," she sputtered.

He kissed her on the cheek. "Don't worry babe, I get it. You know, talking to yourself is a sign of insanity."

She smiled and pushed his shoulder playfully. "By the way, why aren't you in school?" she asked him.

"Oh, you know how it is. I didn't feel like going today," he admitted. "You however, are going to get in some serious trouble if you don't go back."

"I don't want to go back," Amu whined. "You must be rubbing off on me."

Ikuto smiled. "I must be. But you do need to go back. I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Practice what you preach," she insisted. She then took his hand and they started to walk back to the school together. When they were seen walking in together by a teacher, they got sent to the office and given detention for the next day and sent back to their classes.

The day dragged on for Amu until gym class.

"Hey Amu, are those pants a size bigger than normal?" Nadeshiko asked when she noticed that Amu's gym clothes were fitting her looser. "Or are you losing weight?"

Amu looked down at herself. "I don't see a difference," she said.

Nadeshiko scrunched her eyebrows. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah. The elastic might be going a little or something," she reasoned, hoping Nadeshiko bought it.

She shrugged. "Maybe that's it. Anyway, we should get out there; we're the last ones left.

_Oh my God! Oh my God oh my God oh my God! Nadeshiko noticed! _She screamed inwardly. _I mean, I knew I couldn't hide it for much longer, but now what am I going to do? Okay, okay, calm down. You'll be okay Amu. _

Nadeshiko groaned. "Gross, we're playing dodge ball today. I'm going to the weight room. What about you?"

"Yeah, I don't feel like getting bruised up," she agreed. "Besides, even though I'm pretty good at dodging, I can't throw."

The two of them went into the weight room and started walking on the treadmills. When the teacher left, Ikuto put down his weights and walked over to Amu.

"Hey Ikuto," she said.

"Amu, can I talk to you for a second?" he asked.

Amu looked around and slowed the treadmill to a stop and got off. "Sure, what is it?"

Ikuto took her hand and led her out of the weight room and out into the hall in between the room and the gym.

"So what's this about?" she asked. When she did, Ikuto pressed his lips against hers. When he pulled away, Amu smiled. "I like our little talks."

Ikuto walked her over to the wall and pressed her back up against it. Amu felt like she was trapped and tried to get away, but it didn't work.

"What's wrong babe?" he asked, worry filling his eyes.

"Nothing," she replied. However, she took this opportunity to get away from the wall. "Anyway, was this the only reason you brought me out here?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "Well, you looked more tired than normal on the treadmill, so I thought I'd rescue you."

She smiled. "Thanks. I never liked those things."

"Which begs the question; why were you more tired than usual?"

Amu froze for a moment. "Well, I told you before. I didn't get a good night's sleep last night."

"Why not?"

"I just didn't!" she snapped. Amu was instantly filled with regret. "Sorry, I just don't like being interrogated."

Ikuto hugged her tight. He began to innocently fiddle with the elastic of her gym shorts. Fear coursed through Amu, but she held her ground. "It's okay. Can I just ask one more question though?" Amu nodded. "You're still on that diet, aren't you?"

Amu pulled away. "What are you talking about?"

"Amu, tell me honestly. Are you still trying to lose weight?" he asked. Amu looked away at first, but then slowly nodded. "Dammit Amu. I told you that you don't need to do that."

"Hey, it's my body, it's my choice on what to do with it," she retorted.

"Amu baby this has gone too far," he insisted. "Did you honestly think that no one would notice? You hardly eat anything and you're losing too much weight. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I just want to look better," she whined.

Amu could see that Ikuto was angry but he tried not to show it. "Amu, this isn't looking better. If you lose any more…" His voice trailed off. "You need to stop this diet Amu. Now, if there's something going on, you need to tell me. I can help you with this problem."

"I don't have a problem!" she yelled. "I'm perfectly fine. All I want to do is get a little bit thinner. Okay? I don't see anything wrong with that."

"There is something wrong with it if you're killing yourself in the process!" he yelled. Amu's heart sank. "Look Amu, I'm sorry but I can't love someone who doesn't love herself."

"You lo-" she began quietly, but he walked away. 


	16. Chapter 15

Amu sat at home crying in her bedroom.

_Why is this happening to me? _she thought. _Why, of all people, is this happening to __**me**__? I'm done with guys. All they ever do is hurt me. Daddy hurt me when he left. Tsubasa hurts me almost every night. Tadase hurt me by leaving me and calling me a whore and now Ikuto left because of my eating disorder. I hate my life. Why do I have to go through this? _

She went over to her toilet and threw up.

**A/N: Ugh, teenage girls. I hate to call myself one. Ah, Amu, we go full circle back to the vomiting. Why do you do this to yourself? Ah yes, because I make you? Mwuhahahahaha, I'm so evil. Anyway, just a short little chapter, but it needed to be said in my opinion. It's just a little insight into what she's thinking. Even though she really loves her father and misses him, she does resent him for leaving her. I do think she feels that it's his fault because then if he hadn't have died, then Midori wouldn't have married Tsubasa and she wouldn't be raped and most likely wouldn't have bulimia and so on and so forth. But girls can never stay mad at our daddies. ^_^ R&R! **


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N: PM me or comment about any confusion. **

"Good morning Amu," Nadeshiko said in homeroom the next day.

Amu gave her friend a weak smile. "Morning Nadeshiko. What's up?"

"Oh nothing much. What about you?" she replied.

She shrugged. "You know, been better."

Nadeshiko lovingly rubbed Amu's back. "You okay? What's wrong?"

"Ikuto broke up with me," she said quietly. "He didn't really say why though," she lied, "Just that things weren't going to work out. I'll be fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Amu shrugged. "How are you taking it?" Amu shrugged again which caused Nadeshiko to sigh. "You know I know you better than this," she said. "I'll be there when you need to talk about it."

"Hinamori," Kukai said. "What are you whispering about?"

Rima, who had heard part of the conversation, jumped to the defense. "Oh nothing, just girl stuff that you'd find boring."

"Oh," he said. "Well I guess I don't want to know then." Then he continued his conversation with Nagihiko and Yaya.

When gym class came, Amu decided not to participate and Nadeshiko sat out with her.

"So, what happened?" Nadeshiko asked quietly.

"Well, there's not really much to tell," Amu lied. "Like I said earlier, he just said that things weren't going to work out so he left."

'That's it?" Nedeshiko asked and Amu nodded. "Now, this probably isn't the right time, but didn't I tell you that going out with him was a bad idea?"

"Yeah, but I really liked him," Amu said. "But I guess you were right; I should have listened to you."

"But instead you got your heart broken twice." Nadeshiko hugged her. "It's going to be okay Amu."

"Today's the anniversary," Amu said quietly.

"I know love. Are you going to be okay?"

"I really miss him. I can't believe how long it's been," Amu observed.

"Well, at least it doesn't hurt as much now," Nadeshiko said and Amu sighed.

"I miss daddy," she said and had to choke back tears. "Why'd he have to go?"

"God has a bigger plan for all of us," Nadeshiko told her. "Just remember that. He had a plan for your dad and he has a plan for you and it wouldn't have worked if He hadn't taken him when He did."

"I have bulimia," Amu said suddenly.

"W-what?" Nadeshiko asked. "Amu, I know I diedn't hear you right."

Amu nodded furiously and wiped her eyes. "I have bulimia."

Nadeshiko took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. "So, you mean that the weight you've been losing?" she asked and Amu bit her lip to keep from crying.

Nadeshiko then stood up and walked over to the gym teacher. After a short conversation, the teacher wrote something down and handed it to Nadeshiko.

"Come on," she said when she returned. "WE got a pass." She then took Amu by the elbow and took her outside. Nadeshiko opened somebody's locker and stole some paper and a pen, writing 'Out of Order' on it and placed it on the door of the bathroom before entering.

"Hinamori Amu-chan why didn't you tell me?" Nadeshiko demanded before Amu broke down in tears.

"Don't yell at me Nadeshiko!" Amu yelled and sank to her knees. Nadeshiko sat down beside her before wrapping her in a protective hug.

"Amu, what the hell?" Rima asked, suddenly bursting into the bathroom.

R-Rima-chan," Amu stuttered, trying to regain her composure but she knew it wouldn't work. "What are you doing here?"

"Nadeshiko texted me," Rima explained. "Seriously Amu, an eating disorder? What the hell?"

Amu stopped her crying long enough to question Nadeshiko. "How did you text her? You didn't touch your phone the whole time, did you?"

"Never mind how I did it," Nadeshiko insisted.

Rima got down on the floor next to Amu and began stroking her pink hair. "It's okay now Amu, we're here. Now just tell us what happened."

Amu took a few breaths. "I don't know where to begin."

"It's okay, just take your time," Nadeshiko cooed. "We want to help you."

"Well, I was really depressed after my dad died. Then my mom started dating my step-father," she explained while the other girls listened intently. "Then, I don't know, I guess from all the stress I'd been having some self-esteem issues. Then we were all at the pool together one day. This was before Tadase and I were together, but I had a huge crush on him at that time. I decided that I wanted to impress him so I wore a bikini even though it made me uncomfortable."

"Was it the pink one with the white polka dots?" Rima asked, earning herself a glare from Nadeshiko. "What, I'm just trying to get the mental picture. You looked really hot in that by the way."

"Thanks, but that was the thing," Amu said, finally calm enough not to sob after every few words. "He never even noticed me. I got a simple 'Hello Hinamori-san,' but that was about it. He spent the rest of the day checking out other girls, all of which were skinnier than me. I'd been considering losing a little weight, but that made my mind up for me.

"At first I just wanted to go down a pants size. When I finally did, I got up the nerve to try to get Tadase to ask me out, and when he did, I guess something in my brain said that it was only because I'd lost the weight. But then I couldn't stop myself. I was eating smaller portions before I started skipping breakfast and barely touching my lunch. It was a while before I started throwing up, but once again I couldn't stop myself. And I know if I don't stop I'll just get sicker and weaker but I just can't. Every time I throw up I hate myself, so I do it again."

A loud knock was heard on the door. "This is the janitor. This bathroom isn't out of order. What's going on in there?"

Nadeshiko bit her lip. "I'll get rid of him," she said and slipped out.

Rima sighed. "I'm so sorry I yelled Amu."

Amu rubbed her eyes. "That's okay."

"No, it isn't," she insisted. "It was uncalled for. It's just that when Nadeshiko told me, I was just so shocked that it would be you of all people. I can't stand the thought of my best friend hurting herself. We're going to get you some help. We're going to get you better, okay?"

"But I don't want to get better," Amu argued. "Come on Rima, just a few more pounds."

_Smack! _

"What was that for?" Amu asked, rubbing her cheek.

"That's for being stupid," Rima answered. "You can't lose any more weight. You're already wasting away."

"No I'm not," Amu argued again.

"Yes you are," she insisted. "You aren't sleeping, you're too weak to take gym, and you're panting even going up the stairs!" Amu looked away. "Besides why would you have told us if you didn't want help?"

The two stayed quiet for a while. "This is why Ikuto left me."

"Wait, what?" Rima asked, astonished.

"He said he couldn't love me if I didn't love myself," Amu explained, tears welling up in her eyes once again.

"I'm so sorry," Rima said and hugged her friend.

"Alright, we're clear," Nadeshiko said when she came back in, only to be sent back out to get Ikuto on Rima's command.

"No, don't," Amu pleaded.

"What do you want me to tell him?" Nadeshiko asked.

"Rima rolled her eyes before getting up. "Fine, I'll get him. Where is he?"

"He's is the gym, but-" Nadeshiko divulged, but before she could finish, Rima was gone, cutting her off.

"Why does she want him?" she asked. "I thought you two were broken up."

"Well, it wasn't exactly the way I said it was," Amu explained. Nadeshiko wanted to ask, but Amu gave her a look that saidshe didn't want to talk about it so they sat in silence until Rima came back.

Muffled voices were heard through the door. "I can't go in there; it's the girls' bathroom."

Amu and Nadeshiko could almost hear Rima roll her eyes. "Oh, it's just Amu in there crying. Quit being a pansy for Christ's sake!" Before Ikuto could argue, he was shoved through the door and landed on the floor. Rima then picked up Nadeshiko and they left.

"Um, hi Amu."


	18. Chapter 17

Ikuto picked himself up off of the floor and looked around, clearly in awe of the bathroom. Amu heard him mumble something about it being so clean and not smelling like something died.

"Ikuto sat down on the floor. "So, your little blonde friend packs a lot of power for being so small. She burst through the gym door and drug me out by my ear."

"Yeah, she's pretty strong," Amu said halfheartedly. "She still surprises me sometimes. She doesn't look like it, but she also has a temper." Amu looked at him for the first time and saw that he was watching the floor intently. "Yes, it's safe to sit on," she laughed. "You're not going to get MRSA or AIDS or anything from touching it."

He laughed. "So, why did they make me come in here?"

Amu sighed. "Well, the girls saw I was a wreck after you left and so they drug us in her to talk it out. I can understand if you don't want to though."

Ikuto scooted closer to Amu and wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace. "That's the wrong answer," he whispered in her ear and her eyes grew wide. "But I have to give you credit, you're getting better at lying spur of the moment."

She broke away from him and tried to look shocked at his 'accusation.' "Wh- what do y m-mean?" she spurted. "That is why. And why are you calling me a liar?"

Ikuto hung his head before taking ahold of her chin and staring intently into her honey colored eyes. "Amu, did you honestly think Rima-chan wouldn't tell me?" he asked. "I'd already figured it out anyway. Why Amu?"

Amu tried to remain strong, but her eyes began to betray her and she started crying. Before she could stop herself she poured her heart and soul out to him, telling him everything about the history of her developing the eating disorder.

"Why did you break up with me?" she asked when she was finished recounting her story. "I need someone with me, not just for the throwing up but for everything else. My life completely went to shit years ago and then you were the only one I could count on in the whole world and then you just left. Why?"

It was Ikuto's turn to cry, however he refused to show it. He pulled her into another hug and hid his face from view, but she could still feel an occasional tear fall onto her shoulder. "Because I was being shellfish," he whispered. "About two years ago, my sister Utau was diagnosed with anorexia. It took a long time, but we finally got her better. For a while she got so weak that she could barely move. My baby sister almost died Amu because she had the same problem that you do. Whenever I found out, I wasn't thinking straight. I was just too sad and angry to realize how much you needed me. I couldn't stand the thought of watching another girl I love go through that."

Amu was in shock, barely able to comprehend what she'd just been told. "I- I had no idea."

"No, of course you didn't," he said. "I'm so sorry Amu. I shouldn't have acted like that."

"No, you had every right to be mad at me," she argued and the two sat in silence together.

"I meant it," he eventually said, both glad he'd broken the silence.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I really do love you," he explained and took her chin in between his thumb and forefinger and angled her head for a kiss.

She smiled when they eventually broke apart. "I love you too."

**A/N: Chibi-chan updated? What kind of sorcery is this! For those of you who don't go to my profile, my lap top got a virus, which is where all of my stories were saved. However, now that my computer is working again, we'll be all good. Also, I've been wondering if I should write a sequel to this. I have the first chapter and part of the second written, but I want to know what you guys think. Please comment or visit my profile and vote on the poll and tell me if you want a sequel. But anyway, updates should be pretty regular now. Bye y'all! R&R! Thanks! **


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: Come! Gather around my children, and let me tell you the tale of how Chibi-chan got back on FF. So, I was reading a fic the other day and the author put it on hiatus because she decided that she didn't like the cannon as much as when she first wrote it. The story was three chapters in. So I was complaining to one of my friends about this. Then I began to think, 'Wow, what a fandom whore. Yeah, I've put stories on hiatus before. But that was only for a little while and I promised that I'd never stop a story in the mi-ddle. I have to update my Shugo Chara story. God I am such a hypocritical b****.' But to be completely honest, I don't like this fandom as much as I did in the beginning and I kind of forgot about **_**Hearts. **_**Nevertheless, I will continue and the offer for a sequel still stands. Thank you for everyone who's stuck with me and I promise I'll finish soon. P.S. This A/N was written about three months after the chapter. **

Rima and Nadeshiko turned around to see Amu and Ikuto walk out of the bathroom hand in hand.

"I trust it went well?" Rima asked and the two of them nodded.

"So Amu, um," Nadeshiko tried to ask but the halls were starting to fill and she couldn't find the right words.

Amu bit her lip before looking up at Ikuto and then to her two best friends. "I'm going to try," she said.

"Well, we'd better go," Nadeshiko said before walking up to Amu and giving her a tight hug. "It's going to be okay," she whispered. "We're going to get you better."

"So, where are you going next?' Ikuto asked when the other two girls left.

"Lunch," she replied.

"Cool, I have it this period too," he answered. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Amu thought of her lunch table and counted on her fingers the number of people she sat with. "Well, I guess you can if you want, but the table's a bit crowded and Tadase sits there."

"Are you still talking to him?" Ikuto asked.

"No, no really, but we've mostly got the same friends, so we kind of have to put up with each other," Amu explained.

"Well then this will be pretty awkward," he said with a smirk before taking her hand and leading her to the cafeteria.

When they got to the table, Tadase, Kairi, and Yaya were already seated. "Hey guys, can we make a little room?" Amu asked. "Ikuto wants to sit here today." By this time, the rest of her friends had begun to file in with their trays and they all moved to make a seat for Ikuto next to Amu.

"Coming?" he asked when Amu sat down as he was going up to get some food.

"No, I don't feel like eating today," she said airily. "I'm not very hungry."

"Oh hell no," Rima said and while Nadeshiko and Ikuto tried to get her to get food, Rima went up and bought a second lunch and put it in front of Amu. "Eat," she commanded.

Amu sneered at her chicken patty sandwich and orange. She picked up her chocolate milk and once seeing that it didn't say that it was fat free, she put it back on the Styrofoam tray. "I don't want it."

"Come on Amu, you have to eat," Nadeshiko instructed.

"Well I'm not going to," Amu said stubbornly and pushed her food away.

"Let's put this to a vote shall we?" Rima asked. "Who here thinks Amu needs to lose weight? If you do, raise your hand." Kairi, Tadase, Kukai and Yaya just stared at her.

"Amu, do you think you do?" Kukai asked.

"Well of course I do," Amu snapped. "I didn't tell you guys that I was dieting because I knew you would react this way."

"Well of course Amu-chi," Yaya said. "Are you sick?"

"Very sick," Nadeshiko explained. "She purposely throws up whenever she eats."

"Why are you telling them?" Amu asked. "This was supposed to be between me and you. Then you told these two," she said gesturing to Ikuto and Rima, "And now them."

"We're your friends Amu," Rima said. "We're only doing this because we care about you and we want you to get better."

"Besides, like I said earlier, why would you have told me if you didn't want to get better?" Nadeshiko asked.

"Can we please stop talking about this?" Amu asked angrily.

Ikuto handed Amu the orange which he had peeled during the small fight. "Come on Amu," he whispered. "Please at least eat this."

"Wait, isn't the point to get her to get a little more weight?" Kukai asked. "Oranges barely have any fat in them at all."

"Her stomach has to be re-trained to handle food again," Kairi explained. "Right now, all we have to worry about is for to be able to eat at all."

"Fine, if you guys want me to get fat so badly, then I'll just eat the stupid orange," Amu said angrily and tore off a few segments and put them in her mouth. "Happy now?" she asked after swallowing.

"Getting there," Ikuto said. He brushed some pink hair behind her ear and leaned in. "It's a gradual process," he whispered. "I'm not expecting anything right now. But please, I don't want to see you sick anymore." He then took her chin in his fingers and turned her head so their lips connected. "I love you Amu."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Tadase asked and all heads turned to him. His eyes were glued to the table. "We were dating for a long time. Didn't you trust me?"

"That's funny, weren't you the one complaining to me about trust issues?" Amu asked. Tadase looked up at her and their eyes flashed with anger, but Amu frowned and looked away. "I'm sorry Tadase. For everything that happened. And it's not that I didn't trust you, it's just that I wasn't ready to talk about it. That goes for all of you. Tadase, we were friends before we started going out and we had a good run. Can we please go back to being friends?"

Ikuto took Amu's hand under the table and intertwined their fingers while she waited for his answer.  
>"Okay Amu-chan," he said finally. "And I'm sorry for everything too. I was jealous and stupid. I do really like you you know."<p>

"Wow, you're so lucky," Rima said. "Kairi, Tadase, Ikuto. You got guys throwing themselves at your feet. Now if only I can get the attention of the boy _I'm _after."

"Oh my God. Nagi, will you just ask Rima out already?" Yaya asked, clearly exasperated.

"What?" Rima asked. "No, not, I never said, I-"

"Rima, will you go out with me?" Nagihiko asked. Rima blushed deep scarlet before she slowly nodded her head.

"Oh yeah! Get some big brother," Nadeshiko said and slapped him a high five. When Rima looked at her shocked, she laughed and hugged Rima. "Don't worry, I was kidding. If he tries anything, I'll rip his balls off. I don't care if twins can feel each other's pain sometimes."

"Thank you Nadeshiko," Rima said sarcastically. "Because I really don't feel like getting raped by Nagihiko."

Amu's breathing hitched and she bit her lip. "I have to go," she said and left the cafeteria.

**A/N: This was another chapter that wrote itself. I'd originally intended to put this as pretty much a filler, but it got away from me and there was more than I'd wanted. But this is good because now we can get some Rimahiko action and I don't hate Tadase as much as some other Amuto fans so I knew from the start that they had to make up eventually, I just wasn't sure how. So, the story is winding down. Visit my profile and vote in the poll if you want a sequel. R&R! Thanks! **


	20. AN

Author's Note: Hey. I know this wasn't what you were expecting, but deal with it. Anyway, long story short, I lost everything on my old laptop. I've also lost a good deal of interest in this fic. I've decided to let you guys decide what I should do. I want to continue, if only for the sake of actually finishing it, but it's been so long that I don't know if I could do it. But if you want me to continue the story, comment or inbox me. I know what it's like to be kept waiting, so I'm very sorry to everyone who has been. The offer for a sequel still stands as well. I've noticed that the story still gets occasional views, but I wanted to leave the decision up to you. And guys, even if you want it to end, thanks for putting up with my shit for so long. :-)


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